Korku, Çaresizlik, Sevgi, Nefret, Huzur: Duygusal Covid-19 Gelgitleri

Bu otoetnografik çalışmada yazar, COVID-19 salgını sırasında deneyimlediği duygusal zorlukları ve bunların öğretmen kimliği üzerindeki etkilerini araştırmaktadır. 2020-2021 akademik yılındaki çevrimiçi eğitim-öğretim deneyimleri üzerine eğilen yazar, değişen duygu durumlarını ve öğretmen kimliği dönüşümünü beş ayrı kronolojik aşamada incelemektedir. Çalışma, eğitim kalitesini artırmak için duygusal emek üstlenen öğretmenleri yetkilendirmede demokratik kurumların rolünü vurgulamaktadır. Çalışma ayrıca öğretmenlerin duygusal zorlukları daha iyi anlamaları ve müzakere etmeleri ile mesleki irade kazanmalarına yardımcı olmak için daha fazla öz-düşünümsel fırsatlar için çağrıda bulunmaktadır.

Anahtar Kelimeler:

otoetnografi, öğretmen duyguları, COVID-19 salgını sırasında çevrimiçi eğitim

Fear, Despair, Love, Hate, Peace: Riding the COVID-19 Rollercoaster

In this autoethnographic self-study, the author explores the emotional challenges she encountered when teaching online during the COVID-19 outbreak and their impacts on her language teacher identity. Reflecting on her journey in the 2020-2021 academic year, the author discusses her shifting emotions and teacher identity transformation under five chronological but not linear stages: Expecting the Unexpected, Sink or Swim, Am I loving it?, Something is definitely wrong with my teaching and Everybody is right, everyone is a victim. The study highlights the role of democratic institutions in empowering teachers undertaking emotional labor in an effort to enhance the quality of education. It also calls for more self-reflexive opportunities for teachers to help them better make sense of and negotiate emotional challenges and exercise agency.

Keywords:

autoethnography teacher emotions, emotional labor, online teaching during COVID-19 pandemic,

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