İnternet, Siberseks ve Sadakatsizlik

İnternet kullanımının yaygınlaşması ilişkilere de yansımaktadır. Sohbet odalarında arkadaşlık ve flörtten çevrim içi sadakatsizlik ve cinselliğin paylaşılmasına doğru genişleyen bu alanda siberseks bağımlılığı ve suç oluşturan davranışlar da dikkat çekmekte ve merak uyandırmaktadır. İnternet üzerinden cinsel doyum arayışının kaygı ve sıkıntıyı azaltmak, yalnızlık, depresyon, öfke ve hayal kırıklığı gibi duyguları ifade etmek, ilişkide yakınlık ve uzaklığı ayarlayamamaya karşı dayanak oluşturmak gibi bir çok işlevi olabilir. İnternet üzerinden cinselliğe inanılmaz bir kolaylıkla ulaşılması, evde ya da işyerinde hatta cep telefonlarıyla her an erişilir olması yaygınlığının önemli nedenlerinden biridir. Kimliğin açığa çıkmıyor olması, gerçek yaşamda sorgulanabilecek özelliklerin kolaylıkla kılık değiştirebilmesi ve üzerine gidilememesi bir diğer nedeni oluşturur. Ayrıca maliyeti azdır. Öte yandan sosyal yalıtımı artırarak, ilişkilerdeki güveni zedeleyerek, kendiliğin ruh ikizini bulduğunu hissettiği, karşılıklı hayranlık ve idealleştirmenin olduğu bir sanal ayna evresini izleyen dramatik sonuçlara yol açarak bireylerin yardım arayışına yönelmesine neden olmaktadır. Bu yazıda internet kullanımıyla bağlantılı sadakatsizliğin tanımı, özellikleri, türleri, bağlantılı unsurlar, ilişkilerde yol açtığı olumsuz sonuçlar ve tedavi seçenekleri ele alınarak çiftler ve aileler üzerine olan etkileri gözden geçirilmiştir. Ayrıca siberseksin giderek bağımlılığa dönüşmesinin yol açtığı sorunlara da dikkat çekilmektedir

Internet, Cybersex and Infidelity

Increasing use of internet has numerous reflections on relationships. Within the range of chatroom friendship and flirting to shared sexuality, cybersex addiction and criminal behaviours are among the most intriguing. Searching for sexual satisfaction on internet may have a number of functions such as decreasing anxiety and distress; expressing emotions such as loneliness, depression, anger and disappointment; or providing support to not being able to judge the level of intimacy in a realtionship. The incredible ease with which one obtains sexual content on the internet, at home, at the work place or even through mobile phones is one of the most important reason for its widespread prevalence. Another important allure of the cybersex is its anonimity, the relative ease to disguise normally disturbing characteristics and its being mostly ignored by others. It is also low-cost. On the other hand it causes increased social isolation, damages trust in relationships, and causes the individual to seek for help due to dramatic consequences following a period of virtual mirroring, when the feeling of finding a soulmate causes mutual adoration and idealization. This review examines the definition of infidelity in the context of internet use, its characteristics, types and various aspects; its negative consequences on relationships; its effects on couples and families; and treatment alternatives. The problems caused by increasing compulsivity of cybersex are also highlighted.

___

  • Grohol JM. Too much time online: Internet addiction or healthy social interactions? Cyberpsychol Behav 1999; 2:395-401.
  • Collins L. Emotional adultery: Cybersex and commitment. Soc Theory Pract 1999; 25:243-270.
  • Gönül A. Patolojik internet kullanımı (internet bağımlılığı/kötüye kullanımı). Yeni Symposium 2002; 40:105-110.
  • Cooper A, Putnam D, Planchon L, Boies S. On-line sexual compulsivity: Getting tangled in the net. Sexual Addiction &Compulsivity 1999; 6:79-104.
  • Young K, Pistner M, O'Mara J, Buchanan J. Cyber disorders: The mental health concern for the new millennium. Cyberpsychol Behav 1999; 2:475-479.
  • Parker T, Wampler K. How bad is it? Perceptions of the relationship impact of different types of internet sexual activities. Contemp Fam Ther 2003; 25:415-429.
  • Goldberg PD, Peterson BD, Rosen KH, Sara ML. Cybersex: The impact of a contemporary problem on the practices of marriage and family therapists. J Marital Fam Ther 2008; 34:469-480.
  • Merkle E, Richardson R. Digital dating and virtual relating: Conceptualizing computer mediated romantic relationships. Fam Relat 2000; 49:187-192.
  • Whitty MT, Carr A. Cyberspace as potential space: Considering the web as a playground to cyber-flirt. Hum Relat 2003; 56:869-891.
  • Atwood J. Cyber-affairs: "what's the big deal?" therapeutic considerations. J Couple Relatsh Ther 2005; 4:117-134.
  • Whitty MT, Carr A. Taking the good with the bad. J Couple Relatsh Ther 2005; 4:103-115.
  • Whitty MT. The realness of cybercheating. Men’s and women’s representations of unfaithful internet relationships. Soc Sci Comput Rev 2005; 23:57-67.
  • Attwood F. "deepthroatfucker" and "discerning adonis": Men and cybersex. International Journal of Cultural Studies 2009; 12:279-294.
  • Atwood JD, Schwartz L. Cyber-sex: The new affair treatment considerations. J Couple Relatsh Ther 2002; 1:37-56.
  • Carvalheira A, Gomes F. Cybersex in portuguese chatrooms: A study of sexual behaviors related to online sex. J Sex Marital Ther 2003; 29:345-360.
  • Hertlein K, Piercy F. A theoretical framework for defining, understanding, and treating internet infidelity. J Couple Relatsh Ther 2005; 4:79-91.
  • Hertlein K, Piercy F. Internet infidelity: A critical review of the literature. The Family Journal 2006; 14:366-371.
  • Nelson T, Piercy F, Sprenkle D. Internet infidelity: A multi-phase delphi study. J Couple Relatsh Ther 2005; 4:173-194.
  • Leiblum SR. Sex and the net: Clinical implications. J Sex Educ Ther 1997; 22:15-20.
  • Ferree M. Women and the web: Cybersex activity and implications. Sexual and. Relationship Therapy 2003; 18:385-393.
  • Pittman F, Wagers TP. Crises of infidelity. In Clinical Handbook of Couple Therapy (Eds N Jacobson, A Gurman):295-316. New York, Guilford Press, 1995.
  • Southern S. Treatment of compulsive cybersex behavior. Psychiatr Clin North Am 2008; 31:697-712.
  • Shaw J. Treatment rationale for internet infidelity. J Sex Educ Ther 1997; 22:29-34.
  • Subotnik R, Harris G. Surviving Infidelity: Making Decisions, Recovering from the Pain. Massachussetts, Adams Media, 2005.
  • Cooper A, Mcloughlin I, Campbell K. Sexuality in cyberspace: Update for the 21st century. Cyberpsychol Behav 2000; 3:521-536.
  • Cooper A, Morahan-Martin J, Mathy R, Maheu M. Toward an increased understanding of user demographics in online sexual activity. J Sex Marital Ther 2002; 28:105-129.
  • Cooper A, Scherer C, Boies S, Gordon B. Sexuality on the Internet: From Sexual Exploration to Pathological Expression. Prof Psychol Res Pr 1999; 30:154-164.
  • Schnarch D. Sex, intimacy, and the internet. J Sex Educ Ther 1997; 22:15-20.
  • Aviram I, Amichai-Hamburger Y. Online infidelity: Aspects of dyadic satisfaction, self-disclosure, and narcissism. J Comput Mediat Commun 2005; 10(3):1.
  • Mileham B. Online infidelity in internet chat rooms: An ethnographic exploration. Comput Human Behavior 2007; 23:11-31.
  • Albright J, Conran T. Desire, love and betrayal: Constructing and deconstructing intimacy online. Journal of Systemic Therapies 2003; 22:42-53.
  • Gonyea J. Internet sexuality: Clinical implications for couples. Am J Fam Ther 2004; 32:375-390.
  • Schneider JP. Effects of cybersex addiction on the family: Results of a survey. Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity 2000; 7:31-58.
  • Buunk B, Dijkstra P. Gender differences in rival characteristics that evoke jealousy in response to emotional versus sexual infidelity. Pers Relatsh 2004; 11:395-408.
  • Gordon K, Baucom D, Snyder D. An integrative intervention for promoting recovery from extramarital affairs. J Marital Fam Ther 2004; 30:1-12.
  • Baucom D, Gordon K, Snyder D, Atkins D, Christensen A. Treating affair couples: Clinical considerations and initial findings. J Cogn Psychother 2006; 20:375-392.
  • Young K, Griffin-Shelly E, Cooper A, O'mara J, Buchanan J. Online infidelity: A new dimension in couple relationships with implications for evaluation and treatment. Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity 2000; 7:59-74.
  • Hertlein K, Piercy F. Therapists' assessment and treatment of internet infidelity cases. J Marital Fam Ther 2008; 34:481-497.
  • Arısoy Ö. İnternet bağımlılığı ve tedavisi. Psikiyatride Güncel Yaklaşımlar - Current Approaches in Psychiatry 2009; 1:55-67.